Some days I’m inspired to post blogs. Inspired to go to the gym and get the body I want. Inspired to go out of my comfort zone and dress the way I want to. Inspired to do things out of the ordinary that may not be what my “small town” is used to. Inspired to say what the hell and actually do something to pursue my dreams. Inspired to be fully me and block out the noise of others opinions. Inspired to fulfill my full potential I know that I have in me. But upsettingly (and also humanly), majority of the days I am not that way. It’s easy to be comfortable.

Yesterday was Sunday and I spent my day scrolling through Instagram, gazing and wondering what it would be like to live like the perfect instagramers, looking up internships in New York City that I have categorized as “unrealistic” for myself, and ending my night off with The Oscars, dreaming of what it would be like to be these people who literally get awards and claps for simply pursing the things that they love. Getting into bed last night, I had the most uneasy pit in my stomach that I couldn’t understand. My bff/roommate then texted me to come to her room and hang out, as we do every night, (separation anxiety is real), and of course Sex and The City was playing on her TV, as it should be. Chatting with her with a pit still in my stomach, Carrie Bradshaw, the only therapist I’ll ever need, spit out some of her wise words that just so happened to be exactly what I needed to hear. She said, “Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.” This hit me like a train..and when Carrie talks, I listen.

If It affects me in my soul that I am not pursing my dreams and passions to the fullest of my ability, what in the hell am I doing?

So, then came a thought… Why do we wait? Why do we wait to pursue our dreams and the things that we have always wanted to do? Is it fear of failing? Rejection? Opinions of others? Are we scared that once we achieve it, we won’t feel as fulfilled as we thought we would? Do we wait because we believe that we will be more qualified, fit, and stable for it in the future? Are we not knowledgeable enough? Do we perceive ourselves as too “normal” that it would just be out of the question for our dreams to become a reality?

Then came a very real, get your shit together, pep talk to myself as follows: This may be the most oblivious and vulnerable version of myself that I will ever be, I need to take advantage of the mindset I’m in. I may never have the outlook and child-like aspirations as I do right now. At 19, OR ANY AGE, “unrealistic” shouldn’t be a word in my vocabulary, nor should I use that as a adjective to define anything in my life, especially my dreams. The only way to get my dream internship, is to apply for it. The only way I’ll get to where the people I admire are, is to work towards my goals and dreams every day. Nobody at The Oscars accepted “normal” even though they were “normal” to begin with. We all have the same amount of capability to get to where we want to be, despite what society says or cowardly people say.

If you are reading this and you have a dream, whether it is to move to that certain city, be your own boss, open that clothing store, start that YouTube channel, have that career, live that certain lifestyle, good. Keep that. Be your own pep-talker. We waste so many minutes of our lives waiting. We analyze the obstacles in front of us and watch our lives pass by without making an ounce of effort to change the place we are in. Moments watching and gazing at others success is not going to get you to yours. So, stop waiting. Stop gazing. Stop lurking. You’re capable.